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OT: Dog Dictionary, For the fellow dog lovers...

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pat59

Posted Wednesday, November 07, 2007 1:25 PM

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Last Login: Yesterday @ 11:05 PM
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Dog Dictionary

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their persons want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home

SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

LEAN: Every good dogs's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require.....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

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Methotrexate 15 yrs, Enbrel 3 yrs, Humira 5 yrs, Rituxan 1 yr, now diagnosed with PSA and RA, back to Enbrel 50mg.x2 a week

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Joy125

Posted Wednesday, November 07, 2007 2:02 PM

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Oh, this makes me miss my Aussie, Bear. She'd pretend she was deaf. She'd run into my neighbor's pasture, and when I'd call her to return, she'd stop, hesitate for a few seconds, then tear off on her merry way. Fortunately, she was a sweetie so my neighbor didn't mind her trying to herd his cattle and the cows would ignore her antics anyway.

Thanks for the amusing and clever posts, Pat, keep 'em coming. Have a pain free day!

__________________________________________________

Lift up your hand, oh God. Do not forget the helpless. Psalm 10:12

http://www.physiciansforpeace.org/

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twister597

Posted Wednesday, November 07, 2007 2:03 PM

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Pat,you did it again!!!! Thanks for the so true dog funnies!!!!
Carolyn

You do not learn anything the second time a mule kicks you!!!

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Annaart

Posted Wednesday, November 07, 2007 3:43 PM

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Yeah, Pat. that was really funny. Thanks.

Anna

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Joyce0

Posted Wednesday, November 07, 2007 5:48 PM

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Very sweet! Thanks Pat. I copied and pasted it onto an email and shared it with my fellow dog lover friends!
~ Joyce

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Txnana

Posted Wednesday, November 07, 2007 9:19 PM

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Love it, Pat! My favorite one is the Wastebasket....our Boston Terrier loves to turn over ours!

Take care.
Txnana

RA and Sjogren's Syndrome

Remicade, MTX, Celebrex, Nexium, Lexapro, Folic Acid, Vitamin D, Calcium, Multi-Vitamin, Fish Oil, Diovan/HCT

"My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter."

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mera

Posted Wednesday, November 07, 2007 9:39 PM

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My dog Sammie doesn't do too many of these, but she has her own style of naughty dogginess. She's decided that the living room rug belongs to her, and if she is on it, NO CATS can be on HER rug! She also "tap dances," her nails need a trim and when she gets restless she goes . . . tap tap ta tap t t tap. . .glad she's happy but it's kind of annoying!

she's a real sweetie though!

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