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Ruth Murphy

Posted Thursday, November 20, 2008 3:29 PM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Tuesday, November 25, 2008 3:19 PM
Posts: 3, Visits: 5

Hi, My name is Ruth. I just joined the site. I've had PA since I was 30, I'm now 44. Most of my friends know about my arthritis as do my co-workers. But I still get frustrated when people expect me to be able to do the same physical activities as they can. For instance, I tire easily, I can't walk far due to the arthritis in my ankles, or carry heavy objects. They'll say "it's not that far to walk" or "it's not that heavy". Most of my friends, family and co-workers know about my illness but they still do these things. I guess it's hard for someone to understand arthritis. But it gets frustrating when you have to constantly remind people, sorry I can't do that. It makes me feel like I'm complaining and saying "oh, poor me" which is exactly the opposite of what I want to do. Do any of you share this experience?

Ruth

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Pennie

Posted Tuesday, December 16, 2008 10:25 PM

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Last Login: Tuesday, December 16, 2008 10:25 PM
Posts: 3, Visits: 3

I used to experience that type of attitude with co-workers when I was working. It was difficult to deal with, but the management was the worst ones. They never believed me about my inabilities due to worsening arthritis, at least not until I had a letter from my doctor and had developed cancer from the Enbrel I was taking and had to have my right kidney removed. It really does suck the lack of understanding and compassion a lot of people have in the world. You just have to keep your head up and reminding people that you have limitations. They will eventually learn to accept this fact or they won't. Just don't worry about the ones who don't, it takes too much of your valuable energy anyway. Smile

I am no longer in the work force and don't have that daily reminder of how rude and inconsiderate people can be any more. Maybe you should consider getting on disability and stop worrying about what other people think about your limitations.

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Kelly Banasky

Posted Saturday, December 27, 2008 12:48 AM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Saturday, December 27, 2008 12:45 AM
Posts: 3, Visits: 9

I completely understand what you are saying. I get that type of reaction all the time. People ask you to walk with them, then they run down the stairs and then say, "oh I forget, I am sorry" and it is true, management is worse...even if you have a note. It seems like unless you are permanently wheelchair bound or bed ridden people react as though there is nothing wrong with you. I try not to let it frustrate me, if for any reason, because I don't need the stress causing a flare up.

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Keli in Florida

Posted Thursday, July 16, 2009 2:07 AM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, November 11, 2009 3:06 AM
Posts: 480, Visits: 234

I'm 30 know what my all time fav response from people is? Your too young to have arthritis. Well you tell my body that, i've been dealing with this disease since I was 15, atleast the pain part. The skin condition started at 11 so we are never too young that is the biggest misconception isn't it.

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Stacy Kannenberg

Posted Sunday, July 19, 2009 3:57 PM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Sunday, July 19, 2009 4:01 PM
Posts: 9, Visits: 30

i'm 22 and i have PA

it took me over a year to get someone to even look at me because they didn't believe anything was wrong with me. i think i went through about 3 doctors before i quit trying to get someone to listen to me. my family and friend's didn't think there was anything wrong with me because i looked fine ... i lost a lot to this disease. when i fell down a flight of stairs at school and was taken to the health center on campus the doctors noticed how swollen my joints were and how i had little use of my hands ... then they finally gave me the referral to a rheumatologist. it took knocking myself out to get someone to listen to me!

then after waiting 2 months to get into the rheumatologist... it took forever to get a diagnosis because i don't have psoriasis ... yet... it runs in my family. but alas, i got a diagnosis and some nice pills.

even with the diagnosis and treatment my family and friend's do not fully understand, i can relate to all of you. i just do what i can do and do my best to ignore what anyone else might think. its hard, and it gets me down sometimes but in the end you can't make me do what my body won't let me!

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Grandpavan

Posted Monday, July 20, 2009 12:52 PM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 4:59 PM
Posts: 4,499, Visits: 3,618

The link below is to a well-known story "But You Don't Look Sick" that explains how a person can look fine but still be sick. If you go to the Rheumatoid Arthritis forum (RA Connect) there are a bunch of pinned threads at the top and one of them is a letter to people without chronic pain that explains what we go through. You may find some of this information useful in helping others understand your problem. It is quite common with anyone who has a chronic illness. God bless.

Spoon Theory – explaining RA to others

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/11/the_spoon_theory.php

Age 82, diagnosed RA 12/2001, married since 1952, 4 sons no daughters, 4 grandsons 1 granddaughter. Doing well on Methotrexate and Remicade.

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Sandra Jankunas

Posted Saturday, October 10, 2009 9:54 PM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Saturday, October 10, 2009 9:58 PM
Posts: 2, Visits: 3

Thanks a lot Mr Grandpavan!!! your advice has been very helpfull....... BigGrin

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