Engaged with Arthritis--Insurance Hell

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Danielle Scholbrock

Posted Monday, October 12, 2009 9:51 PM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 2:03 PM
Posts: 3, Visits: 4

My boyfriend and I have been discussing marriage and we're struggling with some of the practical details that have come up surrounding the topic and my health insurance. He's a great guy and understand the whole RA situation better than anyone ever has (outside of family that has seen it every moment of every day from beginning to end), and emotionally I'm not concerned about it getting in the way. However, we are concerned about insurance and the mess that we could end up in if we get married and can no longer afford my treatments.

I'm on several pricey treatment regimens (all of which are very necessary so that I can function in every day life) and am currently covered under my mother's insurance plan as a full-time student. I intend to continue on into grad school and I will be covered under her insurance if I do at least until I'm 24...if I'm unmarried. Though the two of us are not planning on rushing to the altar any time soon and both intend to wait AT LEAST until after we complete our undergrads, I am concerned that we will be unable to afford health insurance once I am dropped from my mother's plan (be that when I'm 24 or earlier if we decide to get married sooner), particularly since BOTH of us intend to pursue grad studies.

I guess I'm looking for advice or experience stories on a few things here. Emotionally speaking, how do you cope, as a couple, with the financial burden of a preexisting condition as pricey and long-term as Rheumatoid arthritis when you know you can't function if you don't have the treatments? We will most likely have to postpone our wedding as long as possible since neither of us can afford my health care. That's not an easy thing to swallow. Especially when he so badly wants to be able to provide for his future family. It's hard to deal with the fact that our situation isn't "normal" and I don't really know what comfort I can offer as an explanation. I don't have a problem putting off the wedding since it seems so necessary, but I'm even worried that neither of us will be done with grad school and on employer's insurance when I'm 24, which brings up the second question...

Financially/practically speaking, has anyone else struggled or had success finding independent insurance with a similar preexisting condition? Am I freaking out about nothing? Is it possible to find affordable insurance that will cover the treatments?

I know it seems really early to be considering these things and I feel very selfish putting all this focus on my own health within a relationship, but this is a huge concern for me and I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has encountered it and can offer some peace-of-mind.

Thanks everyone,
Danielle

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