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Alison9

Posted Wednesday, November 04, 2009 9:21 PM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Thursday, November 05, 2009 10:50 AM
Posts: 1,030, Visits: 651

Good Evening Everyone,
Well, a lot has happened and is still happening since I was last able to post. I lost both my comp and internet in a storm, fried both the comp and router. It's been a struggle without them. I'm getting used to this comp and will try to unplug it during storms, even tho it's plugged into a power-strip. I should be able to come on more now that I have both back.
My mom has decided to move back in with my dad. She's been moving items back to the house with his help, she told him and has brought him here. He did fix a leak that was under my kitchen sinkn causing mold/mildew, but I still wish that my location was secret. I can't change either thing, his knowing where I live or mom moving back in with him. Mom says that he's treating her much better, "it's a total turn around", is how she phrased it. I just don't see it lasting for any length of time. I have told her that she is always welcome back if she needs a place, and if she needs to leave again.
I have not moved back and don't plan on moving back either. I just don't trust him and his sudden turn around. I don't think someone can make all the changes he's made in the short period of time and have them last. I'm still hurt and angry with him. He doesn't like it when mom spends time with me and makes it known when he calles her cell phone b/c she's not home when he gets home and he wants to know where she is and when she'll be getting home. He's angry that she's not home. I don't see how he has changed as that was an issue before we left.
I've been having some new symptoms that have me concerned, but I can't seem to get anyone to understand how scary it is for me. I've been loosing my balance when I look up, down or when I close my eyes, and if I have to combine 2 of those it's even worse. I almost fell in the shower b/c of this. It was after that that I realized that I should try to get in to see my dr, my neurologist or pcp. I called my neuro on Mon morning left a message with one of the nurses, on Tue I got a call from a different nurse asking the same questions and going over the same things that the nurse on Mon did. Then today the first nurse called and told me that my dr wants to do a test where they take my blood pressure while I'm laying down and then again when I stand up. So I say ok when can we set this test up for, well she says she can't schedule it that someone else has to make the appointment. So now I'll be waiting for another day before the appointment can be set up, and who knows how long before the actual appointment. So until then according to my mom, I shouldn't close my eyes or look up or down. It's impossible not to look up or down during the day and I have to close my eyes to sleep, altho the bed and my home seem to go round and round. Maybe I should just stay awake until I get to see one of my dr's. To top this all off my ra is flairing and so is my fibro. I'm having trouble getting out of bed and walking, but I manage it. My meals tend to be small and easy to make, bagle melts: mini bagles, 4 slices of shaved deli ham (2 on each side of the bagle) and 1 slice of deli cheese, put the 2 halves together with the cheese inbetween, wrap the bagle in a paper towel and microwave for 30 sec. It might not be the most healthy thing, but it's the only thing I can manage at the moment.
On a bright note I do have a new kitty. I wasn't planning on adopting an animal the day we (mom and I) went to the shelter to look, but this black and white long haired tuxedo kitty picked me. I couldn't leave her there another night so I ended up adopting her then and there. She's a great match for me. She loves to give kisses, she goes for the joints on my hand that hurt the most and she licks (kisses) them then rubs her head over my joints. She's one smart kitty. I can't even take credit for finding her as she picked me. She's the reason I keep getting out of bed in the mornings.
I know I'm depressed, but I can't take anti-depressants due to reactions I have had. I will mention this to my pcp when I see her next to see if there are any other options that might help. Posting this has helped as I have been able to cry and purge some emotions that I have not been able to. I want to thank you all for being here and letting me cry and purge other emotions. I don't know what I would do without all of you.
Please take care and I'm sending Hugs and Prayers to all,
Alison

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Tommy4

Posted Wednesday, November 04, 2009 10:21 PM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 1:43 PM
Posts: 1,154, Visits: 1,059

Alison,

I hope they get you a appointment setup soon glad you have a computer to join us again.

Pets are a big stress reliever glad you found a good one.

Will be praying that your flare gets better soon.

Tommy

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Pam3

Posted Wednesday, November 04, 2009 10:38 PM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 6:13 PM
Posts: 2,399, Visits: 2,479

Alison,

I'm so proud of you for taking another brave step out of your abusive home and into a healthier and happier future. I would encourage you to reach out for support from a counselor familiar with the dynamics of abuse. There are resources out there to help you continue this journey in a safe and lasting way. I am really impressed with your courage, and I look forward to the bright future that lies ahead for you.

Take Care,
Pam

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MaryFran

Posted Thursday, November 05, 2009 12:43 AM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 4:50 PM
Posts: 226, Visits: 354

Yea Alison! Congratulations for being strong enough to say I'm staying! Also happy to hear you are back up and running on the computer. Never really knew anyone who lost one in a storm but I guess it really does happen. I agree that it would probably help you to get some counseling with someone who understands the cycle of abuse. The YWCA in your area likely has such a service for free. Please check that out. Obviously your dad has not changed and your mother is just so used to the cycle that she went back. You are wise to stay out of it! She knows she is welcome back at your place whenever and that's wonderful. Meanwhile, do whatever you can to get moving forward! Again, congratulations!

Mary H.

Plaquenil, Medrol, soon to be Orencia, Folic Acid, Vit. D, B12, Calcium, + others unrelated to RA

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Grandpavan

Posted Thursday, November 05, 2009 12:52 AM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 4:59 PM
Posts: 4,499, Visits: 3,618

It's great to hear from you again and I am proud of you for your wise choices. I'm sorry to hear of your balance problems and I hope you can get them fixed quickly. Prayers are on the way. God bless.

Age 82, diagnosed RA 12/2001, married since 1952, 4 sons no daughters, 4 grandsons 1 granddaughter. Doing well on Methotrexate and Remicade.

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Gramma

Posted Thursday, November 05, 2009 9:52 AM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 1:43 PM
Posts: 2,190, Visits: 2,957

Alison dear,

I am amazed at your courage. Not many young women would have the gumption to start over on their own, while trying to manage a serious illness. And your compassion and understanding of your mother's plight is admirable.

You've done your best for your family, and I'm glad you have a home of your own, and a precious kitty to keep you happy.

The dizziness sounds serious, and I'll pray that you get in to see your doctor soon. Do you have a cane or a walker to help you get around? That might keep you from tumbling over.

Please be careful, and let us know how things are going.

Hugs, Spoons, & lots of Prayers,

Gramma Ellie

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Polly Sue

Posted Thursday, November 05, 2009 10:39 AM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Yesterday @ 3:43 PM
Posts: 189, Visits: 259

Allison,

We are all so very glad you are back! I am also happy that you chose to stay out of the toxic relationship between your Mom and Dad. I hope your Dad can make the necessary changes so your mom and maybe eventually even you can have a positive relationship with him; and as Mary stated I hope you seek out counseling.... I don't know anyone who couldn't benefit from it!

Stay strong and post often!

Gos's blessings and my hugs!

Susan (Pollysue)

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Barbara Schwefel

Posted Thursday, November 05, 2009 12:05 PM

Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 1:45 PM
Posts: 109, Visits: 202

Hi Allison.you really had all of us very worried.I'm glad it turned out to be just your computer.I'm so proud of you for staying on your own.That my friend is a huge step.As everyone else said,counseling really does work.I know this from experience.My dad wasn't the best growing up either.In the end tho it has turned out to be wonderful.Yes,it happened for me and I'm lucky.he managed to turn himself around and is the best guy now,other than my husband.To this day we don't know why he changed and to me it really doesn't matter.Anyway...talking to someone to straighten it out in your head makes perfect sense!!! I also hope and pray that you find out what's going on with the dizziness.LOVE,HUGS and PRAYERS!! Wink

A SMILE IS THE LIGHT IN THE WINDOW OF YOUR FACE...IT LETS PEOPLE KNOW YOU'RE HOME.

Author unknown

Diagnosed 08/09 Am currently on Methotrexate,Folic Acid,Nebumetone,And Hydrocodone for pain.

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