Hello dear, I am sorry to hear this. First go to the socal security and request medicare and medicaid, they have there own doctors and they can give you disability, you are 31, and is a shortcut when you are so ill. If they reject you, go to the social services, they have sources where they can help.
You HAVE to star the medicine, metrotexate is not as bad as you think and with the time you will see results.
I have 9 years with this and I am 29, almost 30. I have no kids and my boyfriend is scare to death because I am so sick. You are very lucky to have a family to support you. Read with them, research, teach them and with information everybody will be more consious.
IMPORTANT, this is not your fault, this is not a punishment, or something is going to disappear, this will stay, and for expirience I tell you is painfull.
I also feel sometimes I am going to die, but you know what??? is not going to happen. So relax.
Hospitals always have charity, I am talking about big hospitals, if you make less than 23 per year. Also the phamaceutic companies give the medications for free, but your doc has to be your friend and fill paper work for you.
Sweety I know how you feel, I feel it too...but keep working hard for get better, and please give a try to the medications.
Best energy to you,
Ana Bonilla

Hi Jennifer,
I would like to invite you to join the RA Connect board. It's very friendly and the people there often give great advice.

I know it is a hard disease with young children. (I'm 34 w/ 5 kids -- 8, 6, 4, 2, and 1.)

I'm not currently on meds, as I am much improved on a gluten-free diet since finding out that my RA is related to food allergies.

However, I was on meds, which I hated doing, because my children deserved a mommy who was not bedridden. Without the meds I couldn't take care of my children. I did what needed to be done.

Best wishes to you.

Hope to see you over at RA Connect.

Take care,
Shu-Shu

Jennifer:
It's normal to be concerned about side effects. Most people tolerate methotrexate very well. The side effects are not common. And there are things that you can do to diminish the side effects - take mtx at night so you sleep through the immediate effects. Take folic acid.
The reality is that you will probably end up in a wheelchair if you don't start taking the medications. Mtx takes a while to start working. If it doesn't do the job, then another med will need to be added. Many people do well on the meds and lead an active life. Do you want your kids to have a mom in a wheelchair? Getting your RA under control will help you feel better. Less pain, more energy... You don't have to get worse. There are treatments. I hope you start the mtx soon.

And I'll second Shu-Shu's invitation to join us on the RA Connect forum. There are lots of us in the same boat.
+Rachel

I have been on mtx since 2005 & folic acid for the side affects.I have done really well.The side affects have been nothing compared to not taking it.I'm also on Remicade.I work a fulltime job,keep house & yard,sometimes I can even keep my 3 grandkids for the whole weekend(ages 7,4,& 1),they mostly only stay 1 night a couple times a month.Yes,I still have pain & some very bad days,but not as much as before the meds.After I've had my Remicade I've been able to REALLY GO PLAY AT THE PARK,SLIDING,SWINGING,RUNNING.My grandchildren do ask me if I'm good today,before they ask to play,they can normally tell if it's a good day or bad without asking.I want you to at least think about trying the meds.You might be surprised what you feel like doing & how much you family notices.

Hello I am a 27 year old mother of three girls,I know how you feel, I just found out in summer of 2008 that I had RA.I was scared of all the changes,had to go to all kinds of Dr.They put me on 3 diffrent kind of meds.Methotrexate,Hydroxychlooquine,and prednisone,I was scared to take all these meds.but then I realized if I didn't do somthing I would be completly disabled by the time I was 35,and if this med. gives me 2 or more years of living some what normal,then I would do it for my children and their Dad.

Hello. I agree with everyone's comments. I was 27 when diagnosed; am 29 now with 2 kids under the age of 4. You have to act now with the medications. I too was scared of the side effects of methotrexate at first, but it's not bad at all. I take it at night which helps me sleep through the night, and usually am a bit groggy the next morning, so I always plan to take it easy if I can. I definitely take the medications for my family first, then myself (which is probably backwards), but if you don't get it under control you definitely won't be able to be there for your family. Start your meds, stay positive and join us... no one is alone in this. I'm so glad I found the forum becasuse I too started to get depressed and felt no one understood. But there are a lot of us (young and old) who are going through the same things and can be there for each other. Best of luck.

I have osteoarthritis, I have had much pain until lately. I am taking my normal meds plus vitamins and supplements I read about in Don Colbert M.D.'s book What You Don't Know May Be Killing You. It is life changing. I highly recommend it. I feel better than I have in years.

Jennifer,
Your post caught my attention. I'm supposed to be at work today but opted to take the day off due to what I call feelings of 'despair'. I am currently contemplating whether or not to start Methotrexate (again). I was diagnosed with RA 8 years ago and began taking Arava and later added Methotrexate. My doctor was able to get my symptoms completely under control. It was wonderful to be without physical pain. A few years ago I got off the meds due to wanting to become pregnant. Since the birth of my last child, I've just been taking prednisone to fight off symptoms. I think for me the thought of having RA eats at me emotionally and mentally. It is the emotional pain that is hardest to fight - the despair. What helps me the most is realizing that by giving in to the feelngs, I am letting the RA cripple me emotionally. My suggestion for you would be to get all the emotional support you can and also to work with your doctor to get your symptoms under control. When you're in a lot of pain, you're constantly reminded of the RA. For me, the relief of physical symptoms actually made me forget at times I even had RA. Hope this helps.

Hi Jennifer (nice name...its my middle name!)
My mum has RA & she is more active & slimmer than she has ever been & she's in her 60's. Her doc told her the only way forward was operations, which she refuses to have. Mum controls her by diet. There are certain foods that brings on the RA, ie red meats, acidic foods, to name but a few. I know it sounds mad but she really is 100 times better than she was.
Also, I think I have RA but my doctor doesn't believe me & won't organise tests. For a year or more I have had joint pains, mainly in my wrists, hands, shoulders & hips. Does this sound like RA to you?

jennifer, I have been taking methatextrate for ten years. I had the same feelings about meds at first but your going to have to be brave and come to terms with medicine. We are blessed to live in a time where there are medicins that can help our condition. I often wonder how people dealt with this disease before we had modern medicine. You can lead a fairly normal life with the right treatment. I hope soon you will be looking back at this time and thinking I feel as good as I did before I got diagnosed with this.

Jennifer, similar to others' responses, I have had psoriatic arthritis (similar to RA in that it is autoimmune) since I was 24...12 years ago. At first it wasn't so bad but after a few years, it came out in full force and my doctor recommended methotrexate. For months I refused out of the same fears as you until I couldn't take the pain. Prednisone, celebrex and who knows what else I was taking could not touch the pain/inflammation. I have been on mtx for 8 1/2 years now and only really notice any issues the day after taking it. Like other responses, TAKE IT AT NIGHT before bed. I feel tired and irritable the next day until about 4-5pm but I'm great for another week after that.

Not only is leaving your disease untreated bad for your joints, you are also increasing your risk of heart disease due to the inflammation. Mtx has been around for 50-60 years...doctors know what can result from usage and look for it. These new drugs, no one knows yet what will come from long term use of them. If you are using prednisone, you really need to look at the long term side affects. You could have oseoporosis quickly from it if you aren't careful.

Mtx looks scary when you read about it but what would happen without it is much worse. Unfortunately for those of us with these diseases, it is trying to make the best decisions and which is the lesser of evils.

Good luck & God bless.